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Picture this: you’re standing in line at the DMV, patiently waiting to renew your driver’s license, when the thought hits you why does government ID even expire? More importantly, when it does expire, do I stop being me? Does my essence as a human hinge on this tiny plastic card? Am I now Schrödinger’s citizen, simultaneously existing and non-existing, all based on whether my ID is expired?
Let’s dive into this existential question, shall we?
What really happens when your government ID expires?
1. Did I somehow become someone else in the last five years?
Apparently, in the eyes of the government, after five years (or whatever arbitrary time period they’ve assigned), you are no longer a valid version of yourself. Your hair may have changed, you might have a few more wrinkles, and gasp you might’ve even bought glasses.
Suddenly, the person in that photo from five years ago is a total stranger. The government needs to check in on you, just in case you’ve somehow morphed into your evil twin, or worse, into a person who no longer enjoys their favourite TV show.
2. Are they afraid you’ll go rogue?
Perhaps, when your ID expires, the government thinks you might be on the brink of going rogue. Without that little piece of plastic, you could live life off the grid, evading parking tickets and grocery store loyalty programmes.
You could become a secret identity-less vigilante! Of course, if you did go rogue, it’s only a matter of time before you’re caught trying to buy a bottle of wine and the cashier demands to see your unvalid ID, realising you’re no longer “officially” you.
3. Are you now a ghost?
There’s also the possibility that once your ID expires, you enter a state of legal limbo, like the ghost of citizenship past. Can you still do normal things like rent an apartment, vote, or board a plane?
Or are you now a figment of society’s imagination, drifting through life without the solid proof that you exist? Maybe you become invisible to government databases, your name floating aimlessly in the ether, waiting for renewal day when you can rejoin the land of the recognised.
4. What’s the big deal with renewal anyway?
Is it really necessary to go through this ritual of ID renewal? What are they checking for? Did you suddenly become a master of disguise? Is the government worried you’ve learned how to shapeshift into a slightly different version of yourself, one that’s no longer recognisable from your old picture?
Or maybe they’re concerned you’ve finally mastered the fine art of catfishing, using your five-year-old ID photo as a way to convince people you still look 25 when, in reality, your true form is much more “mature”.
5. Does expired ID = expired you?
Here’s the most pressing question of all: when your government ID expires, do you expire? Does your personality suddenly hit its expiration date too? Will your favourite pizza toppings no longer taste the same? Will your sense of humour suddenly vanish?
Perhaps, like milk left out too long, you’ll start to spoil. Maybe without a valid ID, you can no longer participate in society’s most essential rituals, like buying lottery tickets or using your club discount at the gym. What if, when your ID expires, you become one of those people who can’t remember where they left their phone?
6. The DMV’s secret agenda
Let’s be real, this whole ID expiration thing is probably just a way to keep the DMV in business. Without that looming expiration date, we wouldn’t be forced to visit them, experience their charming decor, and enjoy the dulcet tones of people sighing loudly in line.
The DMV would crumble into irrelevance without us frantically rushing to renew our IDs, all because the government decided that you are, indeed, not you after five to ten years.
7. So, who am I, really?
When that ID expires, you might ask yourself, “If my card says I’m no longer valid, am I still valid?” Fear not, dear reader. You are still very much you, just in bureaucratic purgatory until you pass the sacred rite of renewal. Maybe your government ID is expired, but your love for bad puns and guilty-pleasure reality TV? That never expires.
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